Date a girl who writes. Date a girl whose hands are smeared with ink from the pen that she loves to write with, but that keeps leaking. She may not have a perfect French manicure because those long nails would always splinter when she spends nights on her computer typing. But with these hands of hers, she has created whole worlds in her writing that she will take you to if you want her to.
Find a girl who writes. You will spot her by her big eyes looking eagerly at the world, and you will see her stopping and staring at something beautiful, mouth wide open, lost to the world, in awe of something she just experienced. You will feel like you can see cogs turning in her head. That is her thinking about how she could phrase what she just saw so that everyone would be able to feel what she just felt. Maybe she will take out a little dodgy looking notebook with lots of dog-ears and scribble something into it. Maybe she will look up, think, and then sit down in sight of the thing that caught her attention, and repeatedly note down stuff in her book, smiling absent-mindedly.
Date a girl who writes. She will always find beauty in the things around her because she will always look for something that she can shape in the amazingness that is language. She knows that things are of a greater truth when she can share them with her words. She knows that phrasing her encounters will add a depth to the experience. She knows humility because she has met the boundaries of language and felt the gigantic silence that occurs when the world is too big for an expression, when words can never suffice. Date a girl who writes because she will know exactly when to speak and when to keep silent.
A girl who writes will be a girl who reads. She will see storylines in her life and in the lives of others around her, because she has come to know them from her favourite books and wants to put them in writing herself more often than not. Date a girl who wants to see Kafka’s Prague, Joyce’s Dublin and Dickens’ London. She’s the girl who is longing to go to Russia because she wants to see the wide landscapes she holds dear to her heart ever since reading Doktor Zhivago. She’s also the girl who wants to see Colombia because she cried when she read One Hundred Years of Solitude and wants to live the magic that the novel foretold. She even wants to travel to Afghanistan, enchanted by the beauty that the country must once have held and that she’s read about in The Kite Runner.
Date a girl who writes. She has been through struggles with herself and knows that conflict is an important part of life both inside of yourself and with others. She has fought her own wars inside her mind, battling “impressed” versus “in awe”, battling “ecstatic” versus “elated”, battling all shades of colours and all tones of sound that language can express. Date a girl who writes because she will touch all of your senses with language and with her entire being.
Don’t just tell her that she’s beautiful, funny, or smart. Tell her instead that her beauty is that of a red leaf on a golden autumn day being carried by the wind through the streets of a big city. Tell her that she makes you laugh until your tummy hurts. Tell her that her wits make her a female version of Odysseus. Allow her to be part of a creative metaphor. Baffle her with your eloquence. Understand her need for precise vocabulary. Write letters to her. Read her novels and poems. Point out song lyrics that you liked.
Date a girl who writes. She will always share with you what she thinks it is that makes life worthwhile. She will bring beauty, laughter and depth to your life. She strives for a life that is never boring, and with her, yours won’t be either. Listen to what she has to tell you and I promise, it will be worth your time, if only for the sound of the words that she will carefully choose to make you understand exactly what she is trying to say.
Know that you will never have her for yourself. You will always have to share her with her love for the world, with her passion for life, and with her need to be by herself so that she can form words and stories in her mind without being distracted. She and you will never be exclusive – she will always be in love with places, because they make the setting; with people, because they make characters; and with feelings, because they are what makes everything come alive.
One day you will say something to her, and she will startle, look you in the eye, smile and say “That is beautiful.” If you find what you said scribbled on a post-it note and pinned to the wall above her desk the next day, next to quotes by Hemmingway and Mark Twain, you will know you’ve won her heart.
This post, as many will have guessed, is inspired by Date a Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico and Date a Girl Who Travels by Solitary Wanderer. Maybe all three kinds of girls are really the same thing.
April 25, 2013 at 9:06 am
I’m in love with this post! Is that possible? Yes I think it is.
It relates to me in every way and I absolutely agree with this „She and you will never be exclusive…“ – absolutely!
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Thank you, my love! I do think it’s the truth. Girls who write may just have too much love for just one thing or person 🙂 xx
April 25, 2013 at 9:14 am
This is a beautiful, beautiful piece of writing. Now somebody needs to write about the girl who reads, travels, and writes. She will be unbeatable.
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:12 pm
Absolutely, Aiko – and the funny thing is that there are so many travelling, reading and writing girls out there!! I think the three things just go together very well!
April 25, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Wonderful post. Girls I’ve found tend to be very fond of reading and by that I mean a lot of books! Those who write too clearly have a creative and emotional spirit which is sensitive and alive.
Thanks for such a well crafted post.
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:14 pm
Hehe, you think a love for book is a gender issue then, Guy? There’s different kind of reading too, though. Some just read for entertainment, some live in and inhabit the worlds they read about. I think the latter kind will usually have an aptitude for writing too. Thanks for your sweet comment!
Juni 13, 2014 at 9:50 am
„Some just read for entertainment, some live in and inhabit the worlds they read about. I think the latter kind will usually have an aptitude for writing too.“
Hear, hear! 🙂
September 17, 2014 at 1:20 pm
🙂 yes, very true!
April 25, 2013 at 2:17 pm
Thank you so much for this- this actually made me tear up! You have perfectly captured who it is I want to be, who I feel I am, when I write.
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:15 pm
That makes me so happy, Vanessa!! It is women like you who embody what this post is trying to say. xx
April 25, 2013 at 7:22 pm
I am in love with this post. It is so true. I am so in love with the world and find myself often doing what you’ve written here. Plus, thanks to The Kite Runner, I cannot wait to visit Afghanistan one of these days. Thanks for putting this into writing. xx
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:16 pm
There is no greater compliment for me than women like you finding themselves in this, Erin. I hope all writing girls out there are aware of the fact that they are special. And you and I should go and see Afghanistan one day then! xx
April 27, 2013 at 2:47 am
Beautiful, as always Mariella! Books and art have always inspired me to travel. Whenever I return from a trip, my sketchbook is always my most valuable souvenir.
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:25 pm
Thanks so much, my love – I would love to hear more about how your art has inspired you and how it is rooted in your personality. From what I can tell, you are definitely a writer through and through, and on top of that you’re an artist – what a great combination. Such talent! I’m glad you enjoyed my post xx
April 29, 2013 at 4:40 pm
Mariella I particularly enjoyed the last two paragraphs and this line.
She and you will never be exclusive – she will always be in love with places, because they make the setting; with people, because they make characters; and with feelings, because they are what makes everything come alive.
I am looking forward to sharing this with my female writing friends!
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:31 pm
That seems to be a favorite amongst some, Sam 🙂 I think all of us writing girls can relate to that in some way or the other. Thanks for thinking this is worth sharing!! xx
April 29, 2013 at 5:51 pm
What a beautiful post Mariella! I love your writing style!
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:32 pm
Thanks, Julika 🙂 I think you and I share that sense of beauty very much, and that comes out in our writing too. Glad to have come across you in te virtual world of writing! xx
April 29, 2013 at 6:13 pm
Wow. What a beautiful post. Everything about it.
This just made my day. Thank you.
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:33 pm
So glad, Ella! Making someone’s day is never a bad thing 🙂 I hope it lasted!
April 30, 2013 at 8:32 am
What passion and love for life you have. I am almost speakless.
Steve
April 30, 2013 at 8:34 am
Speechless.. Hate it when you are tire and don’t proof read before sending… lol.
Steve
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:35 pm
🙂 thanks – and don’t sweat it, I constantly find typos in posts I already published 😀
Mai 1, 2013 at 11:07 pm
Mariella, this is beautiful! I write and sketch when I travel and the pages of my sketchbooks are always my most valuable souvenirs.
Mai 2, 2013 at 7:35 pm
As a girl who also writes, I find myself relating to a lot of the points you noted here. I was very happy, for example, when I went to Prague and ate at the cafe that Kafka frequented. I’m a fan girl that way. 🙂 Thanks for the acknowledgment!
Mai 7, 2013 at 1:39 pm
Aw, Aleah, I am so happy and honored you came here! Without your post about travelling girls, this post would have never come about. Thank you for being an inspiration to me – and for seconding what I wrote here myself!
Mai 7, 2013 at 7:25 pm
A wonderfully written expose of the soul. Mariella, you have a rare gift that even many writers don’t possess. Not everyone is capable of appreciating the girl who writes, but when they do, the world changes before their eyes.
Keep the words flowing. We need them.
Mai 15, 2013 at 11:13 am
Thank you so much, Alan. I will make sure to keep writing – it is one of the greatest joys I know.
Mai 7, 2013 at 8:10 pm
I know a girl who writes and I would very much like to date her. I agree with everything you have written here which is in your wonderful lively style as usual. In fact I even found out that she has something that I said scribbled on a post-it note and pinned to the wall above her desk. So I hope that I have won her heart just as you say.
Mai 15, 2013 at 11:13 am
I hope that all works out great for you, Andrew! And thanks for the compliment on my writing 🙂
Juni 12, 2013 at 5:34 pm
I am the girl who reads , writes and travels . How am I still single?
Juni 14, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Hang in there, dear, it will happen!
August 12, 2013 at 10:08 am
This is such an absolutely amazing post 🙂 In love with it <3 and know what I write too 🙂
August 21, 2013 at 9:38 am
Thank you so much 🙂 glad to hear there’s more writing girls out there.
August 14, 2013 at 6:23 am
Just too very well written.. could connect with every bit of it 🙂
Thanks for the awesome writing !!
Keep up the good work!!
Cheers~
August 21, 2013 at 9:42 am
Thank you so much Richa – I’m so glad when people relate to what I’ve written 🙂
Oktober 9, 2013 at 4:10 pm
This is the most beautiful thing I read today.
I have shared it on my fb community: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Photography-Writing-Sketching-Painting/396764503751603?ref=tn_tnmn and on StumbleUpon.
You can connect with me on honestlyaashi.blogspot.in
Oktober 15, 2013 at 8:48 pm
Thank you so much Aashna! I am so glad my writing has inspired you!
August 14, 2013 at 3:21 pm
I really love this post. because I also love to write. 🙂
August 21, 2013 at 9:45 am
That is great to hear, Clarize! Keep it up, writing is a special gift.
September 27, 2013 at 9:01 am
Aw such a nice post. Now that would help me make a decision if I ever meet a girl who writes 🙂 Instadate is what I would say 😀
September 29, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Thank you – glad to be of service 😀